One thing at a time

I'm trying to calm down about things that are distressing and focus on one thing at a time. I have plenty of things to work on in myself.

Of course you know, this means swimming. I've been taking everything emotional, upsetting, frustrating, and downright maddening into the pool with me and letting it all wash off.

Earlier this week, I swam a kilometer, and today it was either 1700 or 1900 meters (I lost count). I've gotten comfortable swimming 100's at a time instead of 50's. I still get annoyed at myself when I remember that my best event used to be 100 backstroke, and I treated it like a quick sprint.

Either because I really don't like myself, or because I really do, I've been working harder to try to get a better workout as I go. If I have even a little bit of energy, I force myself to go faster and stretch my stroke longer. My goal has been to leave the pool completely wiped out, and even though I'm really sore after this morning's swim, I know I could have pushed a little harder still.

Thankfully I can swim again in the morning and work some more things out.