;

Sideways dreaming

| No Comments

I believe in feng shui to the extent that it is logical: when we have room to move about our lives in a harmonious way, we have a greater sense of balance, peace of mind, and positive energy.

I don't go nuts about it, mostly because I am too lazy to care about how clutter may interrupt my flow, let alone consider whether my elements are properly balanced, and that's probably something I'd like to work on.

At any rate, we have our bed arranged in such a way that the long side runs parallel with the windows (Eric likes to sleep against the wall), our head is against one wall, and our feet face the door.

A quick perusal of Feng Shui for Dummies reveals that our bed is in a totally acceptable position (diagram b on that page). We even have plants, which Iggy tells me are delicious.

So I can't really understand why, but when Eric goes out of town, I have a compulsion to sleep sideways or sort of diagonally across the bed. I think it's to do with having a lamp on the windowsill approximately halfway down our bed, and when he's not around, I need to read to fall asleep, so it's only logical to move my head so the light shines down on my book and not, say, into my eyes, as it usually does.

Supposedly, my body position still follows the "rules," changing to diagram c, with my feet still facing the door and a wide vantage point of the room.

But my God, the dreams I have.

It's seriously like some form of somnolent peyote.

People who have known me for a while know that I tend to have vivid, absurd, often stupid dreams, and more than my fair share of nightmares. But when I sleep sideways? It's as if I've tapped into some kind of wonderland of fantasy perfection, candy rainbows, and all the dreams I always wished I could have when I was having a bad day.

(As an aside, when I was a little girl and really loved ThunderCats, I woke up one morning disappointed that I didn't dream about the Voltureman, and I spent the next week or so wishing I would while I brushed my teeth - finally at the end of the week, I did, and I was so excited I didn't even notice it was a nightmare until I'd woken up.)

Last night I had an extensive dream about a house absolutely devoid of clutter, with so much space it was almost daunting. The color scheme was based on an orchid like the one pictured - most of the rooms were shades of white, grey, brown, and pale green, and one centralized room was a fantastic deep purple-red from floor to ceiling. Positively stunning.

Everything was geometric and clean, beautifully arranged, and so damntasteful you could scream. Within my dream, I had a moment of lucidity that recalled that when we dream about a house, we are dreaming about ourselves and our inner lives, and so, aware, I spent the rest of the time examining this house thinking "This is what my mind could be. I could love my thoughts this way."

It was arrestingly beautiful.

When I awoke, I didn't feel so stressed anymore, even though I haven't gotten anywhere near as much as I'd like done.

I woke thinking that in that house, they do have to clean the toilets and the floors, they have to buy groceries, throw out spoiled food; they have to spread projects out across that huge white marble table and make a disaster of things... they probably even spill entire cans of Diet Coke in their underwear drawer too.

But I didn't have to see any of it. Just as in my own life, there's all this mental clutter and upsetting stuff, and that's all I focus on, instead of lifting my eyes up a little and noticing all the other wonderful, exciting things.

Before Eric left town, he asked why I stress out so much about everything and make it all so hard on myself. I thought he was deluded or just didn't understand how difficult my life is, and he shouted "Well when it's all over, it's not like you're going to get some award and people will say, 'Oh look how shesuffered!'" And he's right. It's my choice whether I get exhausted or invigorated by challenges. It's my choice if I see my to-do list as a set of shackles or as an exciting opportunity to do good things.

And somehow, by dint of a couple gorgeous dreams, I'm okay now. Maybe my standards are slipping or I'm getting strangely overconfident, but this really won't be so hard. It doesn't hurt that my mom called and said we're leaving Wednesday instead of Tuesday (which gives me an extra library day - weehaw!)

A little change in attitude is really all I needed.

Leave a comment

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Vicki published on November 18, 2006 11:19 PM.

What I'll be doing this weekend was the previous entry in this blog.

Bookety book-books is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.