Yesterday afternoon I had a simultaneously strange and extremely commonplace experience at the art store. It was a gorgeous day out, I was wearing a new skirt, and I was probably more than a bit cheerful because I was on my way to buy art supplies.
They have security guards at the front door who ask you to put your bags into lockers, and I usually say hello to them and ask how they're doing during this exchange. Yesterday, the guard working was a particularly friendly one whom I've seen many times before. He seemed to recognize me, as he said hello with a big smile and "How are you today?" Now obviously when someone greets me so warmly, I smile and try to return the friendliness. We got into a brief exchange about the beautiful weather, he said it was his day off tomorrow, and I said oh good, I hope you get to enjoy more of the same.
No big deal, right?
So I walk into the store and started looking at a display of inks, when the guard comes over. I was mildly worried that I'd done something stupid, but instead he said "I just wanted to let you know that you are the first pleasant person to come in here all day."
It was around 4:00, and they'd be open since 8 am.
"Really?" I said incredulously, "I can't imagine being unpleasant on such a lovely day." He continued to say nope, I was the only one, and the nearby cashiers nodded and said it was true.
I felt so confused because really, how could people be unpleasant when they're in an art store on a sunny day? Further, what is gained by being unfriendly to the staff in such a store when it takes almost no effort to smile or exchange a few kind words? In this case, I think it was more disturbing that pleasantness was remarkable.
Now, I have always had a habit of erring on the side of politeness if I can, and despite all my neuroses, anxieties, and preoccupations, I tend to be a pretty upbeat person. Both therapists and estheticians have noted that my face is fixed in a seemingly permanent smile, and yeah, I usually walk with a bit of a bounce in my step. It's possible that too many years of working in customer service oriented jobs has intensified my warmth and friendly demeanor among the public, but I really find that people treat you better when you are kind to them. Also, being on the receiving end, I've seen that nothing takes the wind out of one's sails and sours a day like a rude or grumpy customer, even when I was aware that it was rarely personal.
Eric accuses me of phoniness or insincerity because I thank everyone who helps me, I wish people nice days, and if someone goes out of their way to do something that I appreciate, I tell them so. I don't think this is abnormal behavior, nor should it be considered so rare and surprising.
In my old neighborhood, all the bus drivers recognized me because I said good morning and asked how they were doing as I got on, and I thanked them and wished them a nice day as I got off. Considering how much grief and hostility they experienced on a daily basis, I kind of thought I owed them a smile, especially since being cheerful cheers me up. All the cashiers and employees at the stores I regularly frequent know me and smile when they see me. I like being someone who makes other people smile.
But really, why is this weird? Is it so hard to be pleasant? I just don't see what could be so miserable about someone's life that it's totally impossible to muster a smile or a common courtesy or two. Don't we owe each other that?
