;

Once a procrastinator...

| No Comments

It seems that the more important a task, the more aggressively I procrastinate it. I know there is a whole psychology behind this, and I know this because once while putting off writing a paper, I read a whole slew of articles on the psychology of procrastination.

Nevertheless, I am genuinely gifted when it comes to wasting my dwindling time. To wit...

Things I Urgently Need to Do, Like Three Weeks Ago:

  • photograph art, put together a design, and submit my thesis invitations to a printer
  • paint my goddamned thesis show paintings

Acceptable Alternative Tasks:

  • reading assignments for my current classes
  • working on my second majorly past-due Venice project and handing it in already
  • working on the poster presentation I will have to submit September 28th
  • exercising
  • cleaning the apartment, doing laundry, setting up a better workspace, or generally getting the physical elements of my life together so I can work better

Things I Have Actually Been Doing, as Conscientiously as Ever:

  • reading blogs and nonsense on the internet, staying up to the minute on pop culture
  • reading a wonderful book of short stories
  • knitting, updating my knitting blog, reading other knitting blogs, surfing Craftster, reading and searching for patterns, and generally thinking way too much about knitting
  • playing with new templates to redesign this blog
  • watching awful TV shows and movies
  • downloading music and starting new musical obsessions
  • eating as unhealthfully as I am physically capable, then wondering why I feel so tired
  • obsessing over packages of new clothing that UPS lost (which were presumably stolen from right outside my apartment door) and pondering what the universe was trying to tell me in this experience
  • looking for new apartments outside of the city, even though we have a year lease here and neither of us really wants to move
  • having long, protracted discussions with the cats, where I fret about pointless things

In a recent "discussion" with Eric, he posited that all I needed to do to get things done was unplug my computer from the internet and disconnect the satellite TV. At the time, I scoffed at his argument that I was hypnotizing myself with media distractions, but as I sit here typing, watching the sun go down (there goes daylight photos of paintings today), wondering what's on TV, I realize the cold, hard truth in his statement.

So I have to unplug a little bit.

I have to get some things done and absolutely force myself to just make some paintings, even if it's scary and I'm afraid they'll turn out horribly and that I'll have to buy new paper because I'll ruin all the stuff I have. I don't know if this is something that artists universally experience, or if it's my own unique incarnation of cowardice, but damn, if it isn't paralyzingly awful to have such intense bouts of zero confidence.

If you don't see me for a while, I've either found something shiny off-line, or I'm actually getting work done. At this point, I think my graduate career depends on the latter.

Leave a comment

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Vicki published on September 15, 2007 7:20 PM.

Revealing the Heart was the previous entry in this blog.

My painting assistants is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.