The Magical Snuggie

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I can't imagine you've been watching much late-night TV if you haven't heard of the Snuggie. Or even its predecessor, the Slanket.

There are quite a few things I find amusing about this, beginning with the fact that my mother has always called wedgies "snuggies." I cannot hear the word snuggie without picturing the time my mother naively asked me to check the size of her underwear in a crowded lingerie sale in Virginia and I couldn't resist giving her a massive wedgie. Except she indignantly cried, "You gave me a snuggie!!!" Ah God, I'm gonna fall over laughing just typing that.

So the Snuggie is marketed on the premise that blankets are just so utterly inconvenient, what with their slipping all over the place and trapping your arms and eating children's souls at naptime.

My mother received a Snuggie as a gift for Christmas, and she immediately said that it was too long to walk around in, and she wished it would tie around her waist. My brother and I looked at her for a few seconds and then he finally said, "You mean, you'd like it to be a backwards bathrobe instead??"

Also because it was one-size-fits-most, the pockets came really low on her 5′4″ frame and were spread about a foot too far apart. Apparently it is mostly enormous people who need to carry their remote controls and glasses to and from the kitchen on commercial breaks.

But by far the most significant and lasting observation I have made of the Snuggie in action is that anyone who wears it looks like a wizard. Specifically Mickey Mouse inFantasia (except, see? he has a belt on his!). If I see anyone using my mother's, I pretty much insist they conjure something or at least pantomime some spells. Combined with rum, hilarity generally ensues:

It's a small price to pay for the warm and gentle embrace of pocketed, be-sleeved polyester fleece.

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This page contains a single entry by Vicki published on February 10, 2009 11:29 PM.

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