;

Relocating my center

| No Comments

I wrote a while back about the sensation of dislocation and how paradoxically freeing it can be, to have a sense of not-belonging somewhere. Increasingly, though, in the past few months my life was becoming a series of not-belongings, everywhere I went, and it was getting more than a little overwhelming. I took some time this summer to re-center myself and to become reacquainted with who I am and what I care about.

My trip to Iceland affected me profoundly, and I rediscovered the incredible importance of nature and freedom in my life. I thought about how many hours of how many days I'd been spending in the car or on public transit between New Jersey and Brooklyn, and how most days I felt like I was being held hostage or punished. I thought about how many nights I collapsed into bed feeling abused by the world and unhappily exhausted, and I knew I needed to make a lot of changes.

I spent as much time as possible on the water or at the beach this summer. I sought quiet and calm. I watched birds, for hours, and I took an inordinate amount of photos of water and plants and trees. I went sailing and crabbing and kayaking, and I took my sweet time staring at the water when I wanted to. I drew, I painted, I read, I wrote. I paid attention to sensory input and I savored it all. I thought and thought and thought about everything in my life, and I made a whole bunch of decisions. I also came to peace with a lot of things, and I think it's not premature to say, I've relocated my center.

It's going to take me a while to relay all that I've changed, especially since a lot of the adjustments were to my own attitude or heart. But I can start small and work up to that.

I can take my time.

(More photos in my Jersey Summer album.)

Leave a comment

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Vicki published on September 30, 2010 9:28 PM.

New and improved was the previous entry in this blog.

Terrific night at the opera is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.